Table for One

Originally, when I had scheduled my flights back from Malaga to Munich, I realized a nighttime layover in Pisa was less than ideal, but for the sake of saving money, it was fine. But, when I was waiting at the airport in Malaga, I met some Americans whose book I borrowed only to find out that the Pisa airport is fifteen minutes out of the city center. Therefore, I figured, since I’m getting into Pisa at 9:30 pm and southern Europeans stay up ridiculously late, why the heck not go in and see that most famous leaning tower?! Little did I know exactly what I was getting into…

When I got into Pisa, I got on the only bus that was going in and out of the airport, which everyone else was also getting on… Without a map, any information on the city for that matter, or any background in Italian, I decided I would simply get off where everyone with suitcases and cameras got off, thinking that that would probably lead me to the exact area I would want to be. Unsurprisingly, I was right. I got off when everyone else did to find myself right outside the gates of the area where the leaning tower is. Par to what I’ve heard about the tower, it’s much smaller than one would think, but it was definitely cool because it was gorgeously lit up AND you could see the cables that were holding it up connected to another building.

After admiring the tower along with the other buildings in the plaza. I walked over to a restaurant to enjoy a pizza in Pisa. I sat down and when my non-English speaking waiter came to get my drink order, he looked at me strangely and said, “only one?” I smiled with a “si” and ordered a wonderful white pizza with a glass of red wine. In the hour that I sat there, not only did I get to write in my journal with a great view of the tower and people watch, but I had quite the interaction with the waiting staff at this restaurant; with usually a shocked you’re all by yourself question, when needing an extra chair from my table, or putting the centerpieces from tables they were clearing on mine because they needed space to clean. By the time I decided to leave it was around midnight, I had acquired three floral pieces, two candles and two sets of salt and pepper, and they were closing for the evening.

I then decided to lie down in the grassy area by the tower and close my eyes for a few in between people watching, which was mostly couples (which made me want to vomit). But, at one o’clock, they cleared the square and I found myself, yet again, wandering around the small area looking for the bus stop where I learned the busses stopped running at midnight. And when I say cleared, I mean eerily empty. There were no peddlers, beggars, workers, no one, except the occasional tourist like myself. So, I figured I would just get a taxi, which I also could not find. I went to a café, asked where I could pick up a taxi and he told me he’d call me one. While I was waiting for my taxi to come get me, I sat at the café highly entertained because a man was leaning over to a girl at the next table trying to get her to come back to his hotel with him after their meal. Each of them was with a friend, each of them was drunk and apparently each of them already had a significant other. Sadly, my taxi came before I could find out who was going home with whom. Fifteen minutes later, I found myself back at the airport where I slept for a few hours before boarding to go back to Germany.

As much as my mother might argue that she’s glad she didn’t know about my little adventure until I was back in Germany safely, there was never a time in which I felt unsafe. But, in this short time in Pisa, I learned something I feel like I’ve been trying to understand for a while now, something my oldest brother, Matt, learned a while ago: the art of traveling alone.

I remember the first time I drove all by myself after I got my license, and my first road trip all by myself to Washington D.C. to meet my dad, Kate and Will. I even remember exactly what I ate and where I ate my first meal all by myself on that road trip. And, until this point, traveling alone has never ever been what I prefer. Not to mention, I’ve been away from my family and friends for how many weeks by this point? There were points while I’ve been away here in Europe when, if multiple waiters asked me surprisingly that I was all by myself in such a beautiful place, I would have broken down into tears over it. Now, I find something rather peaceful about it.

Honestly, there aren’t too many things in this world that frighten me, but being alone is one of them. And, in the past couple years I’ve been dealt many challenges, which led me to believe that being alone was possibly the worst thing I could ever experience because I lost a few different people who were a part of an important time in my life. But, as I grew up and away from these hurdles, I realized that I’m not alone, and will never be alone. That people come and go in your life, but ultimately there’s a core of people who will always be there, whether you like it or not. Because of that, I now see the beauty in being able to enjoy things all by myself and because of that, I know when I’m done with this ridiculous and crazy adventure, those people will be waiting for me at home.

Yes, Emily Mueller the extrovert can’t stand not having someone to go to lunch with in Butler or Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. And yes, Emily Mueller misses everyone at home dearly. But yes, Emily Mueller finally feels confident and happy with only sitting at a table for one.